Wonk, Wonk, Wonk - How to Train Your Kids to Ignore You (cont'd)

But what they DO understand is cause and effect. "If I do "X", then Mommy does "X"....EVERY TIME. Even young babies learn this. Ever noticed how excited your baby gets right before you feed him? He's learned that when you hold him a certain way, food is forthcoming. Our kids are smarter than we think sometimes.

Another example: Two siblings are fighting about a toy. Don't waste your time trying to figure out who is in the wrong, it's virtually impossible and just encourages tattling. The children will learn how to work out their own negotiations if involving the parent means unpleasantness. The toy is put up for a period of time. End of story. Toy squabbles will dramatically decrease almost magically!


Let Your Yes Mean Yes & Your No, No

Do what you say you will do. If you tell your child that acting up in the grocery store means no cookie from the bakery at the end of the trip, MEAN it. I'll never forget the look on my 2 year old daughter's face as she watched her brothers eat huge chocolate chip cookies while she went empty handed! Few things impress a young child more than you holding to your words, calmly and without a lot of emotion (that just makes you look like an idiot). Children don't respect you if you are always swinging back and forth like a pendulum. Decide what's important to you and expect those limits to be respected.

This rule makes parenting so much easier because your kids will stop testing you so much, which is just their way of saying "Do you really mean it?".

The flip side of this is that when you promise something positive, you had better make good on it! If you do this, your children will learn that you mean what you say.

Carrie Lauth is the host of www.NaturalMomsTalkRadio.com . For more positive parenting and discipline tips, visit www.natural-moms.com/Parenting_positive_discipline.html